Arcania

Subway {I Make This Look Easy, Don’t I?}

Archivist — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 02:18:01 +0000

Doctor’s Associates

Subway ⇒ is a chain of fast food restaurants that sell submarine sandwiches ⇒. Subs are relatively healthier than other popular food, but cookies, chips, and pop are usually also sold as well. Most locations are franchises of Doctor’s Associates Incorporated, though there are a few corporate shops. McDonald’s ⇒ is associated as Americana because that chain had so many locations during the post-WWII boom that sold low quality food at a low price. Subway, however, overtook the burger chain for number of fast food locations worldwide in 2010. I might not want to be a franchisee for either chain considering that both have so many locations.

I often eat at Subway these days. I find that, of available options around where I live, I can extract the most energy for the fewest dollars while covering the shortest distance to acquire the food by getting a sub. This habit increases to practically everyday whenever the $5 Footlong promotion ⇒ is in effect. Different markets in American have different subs that are always on the five dollar menu. Unfortunately, my preferred Turkey sub is regularly priced higher so I have to take advantage of the sale when it occurs.

Sandwich Artist

I had stopped eating at Subway after working as a “Sandwich Artist” for a couple weeks. That title should not have been bestowed upon me because I did not feel that I was expressing myself through the franchisee’s stock ingredients and the customer’s stated preferences.

In short, working a fast food job sucks. The work that I was allowed to perform was boring, repetitive, and standardized. Some customers are liable to be aggressive when they are hungry. Other customers will unfortunately disrespect anyone behind the counter for having a lack of occupational prestige. At least I gave it a try to experience how not for me the job was.

Gilbert Gottfried

The shirt was provided to employees for compulsory wear to coincide with the launch of an advertising campaign. At least one television commercial commercial that featured the shadow puppet seen on the shirt going from scene to scene offering commentary. I only recall ever seeing one of the ads on television one time. I can assure the reader that there was in-store promotional material that featured the shadow puppet as well. The campaign was far less successful than the Jared Fogle ⇒ or $5 Footlongs campaigns that followed.

The shadow puppet was voiced by stand-up comedian and voice-over speaker Gilbert Gottfried ⇒. Gottfried is best known for talking in a loud voice ⇒ in various entertainment products such as Saturday Night Live ⇒, the late 90s early 2000s version of Hollywood Squares ⇒, USA Up All Night ⇒, and AFLAC commercials ⇒.

Within the lore of these sites, however, Gottfried is fondly remembered for the multiple typos I made referring to him as Gilberry Goodman. These typos incited Donor, Receiver, & Proofreader Dale*‘s ire to the point that he sent me an email highlighting this error in strong terms. Dale’s response remains the most authentically exasperated communication ever directed towards me. I have no idea how I got that name in my head. As far as I know, there is not a real Gilberry Goodman of note or otherwise.

It’s So Easy

The shadow puppet on the shirt makes a statement in the form of a question that “I make this look easy, don’t I?”. Possibly. I am not sure what the shadow puppet is referring to in this instance as there is not much that puppet is doing other than existing withing a border amongst corporate logos and talking.

Perhaps we are supposed to be like Machiavelli interpreting the shadows in Plato’s Cave as reality? Maybe there is some food and drink on the side? More likely, the shadow puppet was an attempt to establish a nationally-recognized mascot that exuded confidence and dished out sarcastic humor. In that sense, it looks quite difficult because most of the other mascots that are targeted to Americans attempt to do the same thing. A crowded marketplace leaves little room for growth.

Reclassification

When this shirt was provided to me it was with the understanding that I was to wear this shirt at least a few times at work. Being forced to do anything is inherently not free. A compulsory wearing shall rightfully earn an otherwise positively appraised shirt a Less Than Free Shirt Archive classification.

Valley National Gases, Inc.

Archivist — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 17:01:01 +0000

Now You’re Cooking With Gas

Valley National Gasses, Inc. (“Valley National”) was an industrial gas and a specialty gas wholesaler. To be clear, Valley sold gasses such as carbon dioxide for fountain pop, medical oxygen, helium for ballons, and argon for conducting experiments. The company operated in the Midwest and Mid-Atlantic United States.

The company was acquired by Matheson Tri-Gas ⇒ and remade into a division and renamed to Matheson Valley ⇒. Matheson Tri-Gas is an American subsidiary of the Japanese company Taiyo Nippon Sanso ⇒.

I have seen Valley National products out in the wild. Being that most gasses do not advertise themselves, I had rely upon my heightened sense of awareness after receiving this shirt to take notice of Valley National stickers. The stickers were placed on various gas canisters in places such as hospitals, restaurants, and universities.

Tiny Tim & Barry White

The most enthusiastic I have ever been about gas that Valley National sold is making my voice high-pitched from helium balloons. Even then, I was only so enthusiastic even as a kid. Sulfur hexafloride will make a voice as low as helium makes it high, but can also asphyxiate someone that inhales too much. So do not do it.

(Once) They Were Eagles

Other people in real life seem to respond positively to this shirt’s design despite usually not being familiar with the company. With other popular shirt designs, I think that familiarity with the subject of the shirt design is part of what resonates with people. In this instance, that reason can not partially explain what people like. My hypothesis is either the amount of embroidery or eagle iconography what gets people excited about this design.

Swap-A-Palooza

This shirt was acquired at a Swap-A-Palooza along with some other shirts. Swap-A-Paloozas are inherently less than free because there is an expectation that a participant should give as well as take.

The student group that organized the group also provided sewing machines with which to create frankenshirts. I have no interest in combining shirts before I can understand the meaning of and experience life within each individual shirt.

Your Place Restaurants

Archivist — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 16:03:01 +0000

You Can Tell Everybody This Is Your Place

Your Place Restaurant & Pub ⇒ is a regional series of establishments that sell food and spirits. There are six locations throughout South Eastern Pennsylvania. Based upon the menu ⇒, the restaurant food is as would be expected from a general local pub with the addition of being able to ship stromboli. The beer selection is targeted to those that only wish to drink American.

It appears that this shirt features an old logo. I kind of prefer this logo to the new logo featuring a “YP” in front of a yellow flag that is within a circle. The old logo is simpler and more easily understood because the old logo is just a wordmark. I have to wonder why Your Place decided to change logos considering that the old logo stood on its own.

My Place

I have no intention of ever having my own place as in running my own pub. The responsibility involved with owning either establishment seems higher than any enjoyment that I would get out operating my place. I am neither a cook, an accountant, nor a bartender so I would either have to learn or pay other people to perform those tasks. Furthermore, I would feel guilty about paying a tipping wage to stay competitive.

Some may think that the Free Shirt Archive and subsites is, in effect, “my place”. I suppose that websites can be thought of location in a sense. I do not consider this series of sites to be my place, though. Sure, I own it and allow people in and it is possible to conduct business online. I think of this site as an expression of an idea that happens to have a URL.

My physical residence feels more like my place than anything else. Home is awesome because I am able to relax there. Protection from the elements and closet space also comes in handy to execute my Free Shirt Archive idea. For my own privacy and sanity, however, I would rather that random people who are still strangers not loiter or even randomly arrive at my place.

Swap-A-Palooza

This shirt was obtained through a Swap-A-Palooza. A student group set up a number of tables and expected people to bring in clothing. Such an expectation is hardly free. As such, this shirt must be classified as part of the Less Than Free Shirt Archive

Another hope that the student group that operated the Swap-A-Palooza had was that those who participated would use the provided sewing machines to create new frankenshirts from the available material. I did not take them up on this opportunity in part because I prefer to wear clothing whole as originally intended. Additionally, if I had a preference for remixing, then I would have learned how to properly and efficiently use a sewing machine.

Saint Vincent

Archivist — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 13:50:00 +0000

Get Well Soon

Saint Vincent Health Center ⇒ is a hospital with 456 beds located in Erie, Pennsylvania. The hospital is church-owned by the Sisters of St. Joseph of Northwestern Pennsylvania ⇒. According to the hospital’s website, Saint Vincent accepts all ills while specializing in “Cancer, Heart, Neurosciences, Orthopedics, Primary Care, and Womens’ Health”.

“We know how to treat people” is printed about the name on this shirt’s design. I like this particular slogan because it has both medical and ethical meanings. I have never been injured or sick in Erie so I do not have experience with Saint Vincent. Still I give hospitals the benefit of the doubt.

There are multiple Saint Vincents to whom this particular hospital might be dedicated. I suspect that Saint Vincent of Saragossa ⇒ is the saint so honored due to his fame. There are, however, numerous saints with the same name ⇒ that the dedication could be directed towards. Questioning an employee on the telephone did not yield an answer.

Swap-A-Palooza

This shirt is properly categorized within the Less Than Free Shirt Archive because it was acquired at a Swap-A-Palooza. The expectation of the event is that a participant should donate some of their own shirts in order to take from what other people have donated. This is all well and good, but my donations of shirts that I had bought years before prohibits this, and a few other shirts, that I got from the same event from being free.

Furthermore, the shirts are to be remixed with other shirts to create a new shirt. I have neither the sewing skills nor the desire to change original garments. The archives seek an understanding of the original shirts on their own merit and within my life. Rushing to create a frankenshirt seems rash unless and until the originals can be considered.

Let’s Do What Mary And Joseph Did Without The Kid

There are other hospitals named in honor of Saint Vincent besides this particular location in Erie. I would not know that going through site statistics. Oftentimes, random web surfers have somehow landed at this page the search strings are for a couple of other sources. I wish to officially acknowledge that this shirt has nothing to do with either of those topics.

Saint Vincent de Paul societies ⇒ are known for helping the poor through a number of different methods in the example of Saint Vincent de Paul ⇒. The most visible expression of their work are the society operated stores found in many cities. The stores are often used by the kind as place to donate old stuff and the cruel to find stuff to buy low and then sell high online.

There is also indie singer-songwriter named Annie Clark goes by the stage name St. Vincent ⇒. She has released a few albums and goes on tours.

ESPN Classic

Archivist — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 05:51:37 +0000

Goal Through The Proper Channels

ESPN Classic (“Classic”) is a branding that applies to a number of cable television channels throughout the world that air sports-related programming. There are Classic networks in Canada (through TSN ⇒), throughout Europe, the Middle East and Africa that rerun country-appropriate archived game broadcasts The American version currently only shows reruns of Entertainment and Sports Programming Network ⇒ (“ESPN”) programming. This mirrors other networks such as Cable News Network ⇒ that are able to do things straight internationally, but are financially under pressure to reinforce the bubble that American audiences want to believe.

Classic was created as a channel when the former Classic Sports Network (“CSN”) was merged into ESPN in 2005. In much the same way, the channel’s logo as printed on this shirt was also a combination of the two logs. The anonymity of the celebrating athlete within the “C” is a welcome change from other free shirts that often attempt to personalize human figures.

TV Party Tonight

I never have had personal access to Classic. By far my clearest memories of Classic are of watching Cheap Seats ⇒ over at Donor & Receiver Nick*‘s. Though the show was clearly a sports-related rip-off of Mystery Science Theater 3000 ⇒, some of the stuff that the Sklar brothers would watch was amusing even on mute. For a show that only lasted four seasons, Cheap Seats sure seemed to have quite a bit of airtime.

The memory that I want to have, but have not been able to experience so far, is of a rebroadcasted Rocky Marciano prize fight filmed from way back in the stands with a voiceover of a Marciano impersonator. Donor & Receiver Brian* informed me that he watched such a thing on Classic and that he would have called me at that moment had it not been very likely that I would have been sleeping. I hope that I have not over-hyped the actual episode with my imagination. I do hope one day to see this video, but I admit that I lose hope as the years grow long.

Fun On The Margins

Sports leagues have undertaken making their own channels to show archived games to die-hard historical fans willing to pay to watch. This setup probably works better for fans of individual sports, and it may provide additional funds for the leagues in time. This demand will probably always remain niche.

Entertainment at the edge of sports is easier for me to get into than full rebroadcasts. I, for one, would prefer to watch NFL Films of the Facenda and Spence era ⇒, former New York Rangers of the National Hockey League ⇒ do Vidal Sassoon commercials ⇒ or former Major League Baseball player George Brett of the Kansas City Royals discuss… “stuff” with a coupe of teammates ⇒ than many sporting contests after those events occur. Sports is certainly not the only thing that generates amusements at the margin of its activity, but everything else is not germane to this free shirt. Classic is not the station that would serve me this type of content. Fortunately, the Web is around to host such content to my delight.

Beyond, though including, sports programming of the past I like the way that color television shot on film from earlier decades looks compared to the super clean and amazingly high definition of today as an aesthetic. I do not mean to imply that the programming in general was better back then or now. What I do mean is that imperfections and experimentation can have a certain beauty to it that clear and unambiguous representations do not have as often.

Inner Circle Pizza

Archivist — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 18:00:46 +0000

Bad Boys, What Are You Going To Do When They Come For You?

Inner Circle Pizza is a chain of independently owned and operated bar-restaurants in the Youngstown, Ohio area. I have patronized some of the locations a few times over many years. I can fondly recall playing air hockey at one location until they got rid of the table, drinking pineapple juice after a couple of ultimate frisbee games at another, and going other times just to eat at a couple more.

I also remember the one time that I tried applying to one of the location I was not allowed to take the application outside of the building. Either a manager or someone that wanted to be in management gave me attitude for walking towards the door. I got the message that at least one guy did not want to hire me. Given the choice between not getting the job if I provided incomplete information on the application or losing self-respect if I let this guy talk to me like that, I decided to give attitude right back and never patronize that particular Inner Circle again.

On A Chicken Wing And A Prayer

Among the food that I have consumed at an Inner Circle have been the chicken wings that are proclaimed to be hot by the design. I would state that my memory is that that their wings can taste hot, and that even the mild wings do taste fresh from the kitchen. To be fair, it has been years since I last ate Inner Circle wings. The hottest wings that are sold in the same market, however, are no doubt sold by Quaker Steak and Lube ⇒.

It might seem odd that a pizza place would be promoting their wings. This is one of those cases where a local business finds an additional niche after the business is named.

Pizza is part of the name of the business. The pizza is OK.

Armpit Stain

Perhaps the most noticeable feature of this shirt are the confusing dark grey and red stains that only appear at both armpits. These stains have stubbornly resisted efforts towards removal. I have no idea what the grey stains are from. As far as I know, people do not sweat in grey colored sweat. The red stains might be blood, but might also not be.

Donor, Receiver, & Proofreader Dale* directly addressed the stains upon donation with the same confusion with which I now communicate. It must be noted that Dale’s other donations and other clothing do not have these stains. Though he also does not know the context nor constitution of the stains, he does know the owner previous to him of this shirt. We both consider that two previous owners is either responsible or knows the story. That person, however, is not spilling the beans on this issue.

Do not get any ideas. My preference is against stains. Nonetheless, I accepted this donation because the location of these particular stains minimize their exposure. Considering that I have already accepted a shirt with weird stains, there would be nothing conceptually interesting with receiving another stained shirt.

I Pedalled My Ass All Over Mackinac Island

Archivist — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 13:15:45 +0000

Mac In Awe

Mackinac Island is an 5 square mile island that has a namesake resort town and namesake state park. The land is located in between the Arrowhead and the Mitten peninsulas of Michigan surrounded by the Straits of Mackinac and Lake Huron. The name is pronounced like “mac in awe”.

Two battles were won at Fort Mackinac by the British during the War of 1812 ⇒. The 1812 battle is more accurately considered a British siege or an American surrender. The American attempt to take back the fort was far more aggressive than the effort to defend it, but nonetheless proved insufficient in the 1814 battle.

Another feature of Mackinac Island that is not alluded by this shirt is the Grand Hotel ⇒. This hotel is famous for having lodged famous people of the Twentieth Century. Additionally, the hotel claims to have the longest porch in the world. I was unable to find what is considered to be the record holding porch in a Guinness Book of World Records that I had handy, but I will continue to investigate.

The Image

The scene depicted on this shirt is among my favorite throughout the linksfsa because of the absurdity of the idea and that the words and images are coherent between each other. A sweating man (“The Man”) in a yellow shirt, blue jeans, and white shoes is exerting all of his effort towards pedalling a tandem bicycle. His tandem partner is a donkey (“The Donkey”) that is eating fudge rather than helping to pedal. In the distance, a uniformed santitation worker (“The Worker”) glares at the bicyclists with disdain as he is shoveling the consequences of eating too much fudge.

This whole scene raises a number of questions. Why does The Man put up with the insolent behavior of the Donkey? Why not take a break so The Man can get his energy back and The Donkey can finish eating fudge? Is The Man’s vacation ruined by having the pedal The Donkey all over the island? Is The Donkey employing The Man to pedal for him? If The Donkey has employed The Man and can also afford the fudge, why did the Donkey not pay for a horse drawn carriage? If The Man bought the fudge for The Donkey? Why does The Worker stay at his job? Why does the worker look at The Man and The Donkey as if they were necessarily responsible when there are many other horses around that could have done wrong?

Many of the potential answers are less than preferable. The Donkey’s greed and apathy towards others has a part in causing to the misery of the other men in the image. The Worker is not being professional, though he is being honestly selfish, by not focusing on his job because he is too concerned about “sending a message” with his glare. The Man is doing the right thing, but is being taken advantage of for doing so.

Fudge You

The donkey’s choice of snack is not happenstance. Fudge is popularly associated with the island due in part to the multiple small fudge businesses throughout the resort town, and in other part to the tourist trap nature of Mackinac Island. There is even a Mackinac Island Fudge Festival ⇒.

I have seen Mackinac Island Fudge referred to and also used as a flavor name. This usage, as far as I understand, is evocative rather than taxonomic. There is simply a competitive fudge environment in the area rather than a specific type of fudge that is only made on the island.

No Cars Go

The second main point that ian informed me of upon giving me this shirt was that private cars are banned on the island. Indeed, non-emergency and non-construction motorized vehicles have not been allowed to drive on the island since 1898 due to early cars frightening the horses of the city ⇒. The legal choices that The Man and The Donkey are bicycling, each going on foot, or riding in a horse-drawn carriage. Even roller-skating and roller-blading are illegal in parts of the town.

M-185 is a state highway that runs along the perimeter of the island. The road was built in the 1900s century after the ban on private vehicles was instituted, and the road became a state highway in the 30s. That designation continues, thus making the road the only state highway in America without passenger traffic.

The first main point was that Ian thought that I would like the shirt, and that the person he was shopping with thought this shirt was too dumb to donate. I assert that he was correct in his assessment. The other person was free to have their own feelings about the quality of this shirt, but should not have attempted to impose their idea of what they think that I should think.

Gone With The Wound

Archivist — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 03:04:37 +0000

A Cut Above

Within two medical care facilities, St. Elizabeth Health Center ⇒ in Youngstown, Ohio and St. Joseph Health Center ⇒ in Warren, Ohio, are wound care centers that treat various types of unintended internal and external bleeding. Both hospitals are run by Humility of Mary Health Partners ⇒ which has opened up another hospital with a wound center in Boardman, Ohio ⇒ since the donation of this shirt.

Tony’s grandma got this shirt from visiting St. Joe’s. I got the impression, however, that she did not visit the wound center, but rather another part of the hospital. I can get behind receiving free shirts anywhere in a hospital. I have only left with my health, and not even that is certain as a patient.

Wounderful

A wound is is a cut, scratch, scrape, or puncture of tissue or organ. If any of those things were to occur, among the possibilities to consider could be applying pressure to the area before cleaning the wound with water, followed by rubbing on antibiotic ointment, and then installing a bandage if needed. Calling for professional medical assistance is another option.

I Don’t Give A Damn

“Gone With The Wound” is a pun on the title of the famous story “Gone With The Wind”. Gone With the Wind is a coming of age story that follows Southern belle protagonist Scarlett O’Hara through her interpersonal relationships with rouge Rhett Butler along with married couple Ashley Wilkes and Melanie Hamilton Wilkes. The setting is a mythologized Georgia during the American Civil War and Reconstruction. There have been a number of adaptations of which two maintain popularity.

The original expression of the story took was as a book written by Margaret Mitchell. The text was awarded with substantial sales from release in addition to the then-called 1937 Pulitzer Prize for Novel ⇒. The book is also infamous for blatant racism and for the long length to plot ratio.

The film version ⇒ was directed by Victor Fleming, George Cukor and Sam Wood and starred Vivien Leigh as Scarlett and Clark Gable as Rhett. won 8 Oscars and 2 other Academy Awards ⇒. It is still the highest grossing film when adjusted for inflation ⇒. The iconic “frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn” quote at the end of the movie caused quite the controversy at the time of release over the use of the cuss word that has lost all power in the America conversation of today.

Jest For Pun

As stated earlier, this shirt boasts wordplay. I would simply like to note that I quite enjoy humor of all types wherever it can be found. A usual benefit of wordplay is that the humor is found in the confusion of language rather than in the failures of others or in the adherence to pattern.

That the hospitals were willing to experiment with humor is to be appreciated. Intentional humor is far less likely to be used on strictly commercial shirts than on shirts for direct sale such as I Pedalled My Ass All Over Mackinac Island. That this shirt is successful in delivering to the ambition of the joke further places it above other failed attempts at humor such as Camelbak

Buddha Air

Archivist — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 07:32:47 +0000

Better To Travel Well Than To Arrive

Buddha Air ⇒ is a Nepali airline. The airline offers fly-bys of the Himalaya Mountains, domestic flights throughout Nepal, international service to India, and charters to Bhutan. The primary hub airport is Tribhuvan International Airport ⇒ (KTM, VNKT) located in Kathmandu. The fleet consists of around 10 twin-prop engined planes.

The plane on the front of the shirt is a twin prop engine Beechcraft 1900D ⇒ with the registration number 9N-AEK. This turns out to be the same plane that was involved in the Buddha Air Flight 103 crash on September 25, 2011 ⇒. The accident occurred after an Everest fly-by while attempting to land. All 19 people on-board the plane died. This is the only crash endured by the company that I have been able to find through research.

A Mountain To Climb

{Mount Everest (English), Sagarmāthā (Nepali), Chomolungma (Tibetan), Zhumulangma (Chinese)} is the tallest mountain in the world above sea level. The size of the mountain is probably smaller than the size of the fame of the mountain. The Sherpa that have lived in the area for hundreds of years were no doubt the first people to make the climb, and are justifiably considered the best guides. The peak is the location point listed on the Shirt Facts seems to be in Nepal, but it should be noted that a side of the mountain also extends into Tibet/China.

… !

Most often on shirts directed towards Western audiences, the message is delivered in a short phrase without punctuation. This shirt is different by utilizing sentences and punctuation; what a sad commentary that is. The front of the shirt states that “I did not climb Mt. Everest… …but I touched it with my heart !”. “The Best Mountain Flights in the World ! Buddha Air, Nepal” is printed on the back.

I enjoy the hedged confidence that the words on this shirt express. Candidly admitting to not climbing the world’s most famous mountain is not something that needed to be brought up, but is something that many people understand. Being comfortable enough to admit that one’s heart has been touched requires maturity. The claim of the best flights in the world may or may not be hyperbolic; I will have to reserve judgement until I get an opportunity to ride. There is no sarcasm or attitude that is so popular these days.

Ellipsiis (…) most often indicate an omission from a quote, but in this case of the front design is used to indicate a short pause to unexpected effect. Most backers would rather people not think about the message too much. The invitation to pause in the context of typical information overload is implied by the first set being at the end of a phrase. Another set of ellipsis at the beginning of the next phrase is bad form. The breaking of the rule here adds to the effect of the confession that follows.

The space between the last word and the exclamation point on both sides of the shirt is noted. I enjoy this little quirk ! The repeated use of the exclamation mark also does not happen as often on other shirts because the exclamation point is supposed to be used sparingly. Such exuberance use crosses the line, but this shirt goes right to the line with infections enthusiasm.

Acquisition

Donor & Receiver Brian*‘s mother was a Buddha Air passenger on a Mount Everest flight as part of an extended Southeast Asia vacation. I presume that the scene of a airplane flying in front of the mountain depicted on the front of this shirt is similar to what she experienced. Upon returning to America she gave the shirt to her son who in turn gave the shirt to me.

Brian was concerned that the smaller size of the shirt. Extra large in America has expanded beyond extra large in other places in response to how fat Americans are becoming. He even delayed his donation out of fear that I would show too much belly. Luckily for everyone, I am able to wear this shirt while retaining my dignity.

Handcuffs

Archivist — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 07:30:41 +0000

A Good Idea

This sweatshirt features an extend cuff with a thumb hole. I think that this is a good idea for situations when fingers are required for grip or nimbleness but the weather outside is too cold for comfort. For example, I brutally fashioned thumbholes into the Elmo Tire, Inc. sweatshirt to deliver newspapers years before getting this donation. I would have appreciated a sweatshirt of this design back then.

The embroidered “handcuffs” logo features the “d” as a thumb-up within an extended cuff. This design is a clear illustration of the proper garment use delivered within a positive message. To have one or the other is common. Having both is rare.

Patently Absurd

Patents prevent other businesses from producing the patented product for a period of time in exchange for the publication of what the product is and how it is made. Though I quite enjoy the idea of this sweatshirt, I do not find the idea to be so completely novel as to require protection. Good on anyone for getting a patent in a environment that is more willing to hand out state-sanctioned monopolies. Bad on the effect that this has on society. There are probably too many patents are awarded to what are aesthetic processes and mathematical processes.

Marshall Gobuty International USA, Inc.’s (“MGI”) currently owns 3 U.S. Patents (5784720 ⇒, 6035441 ⇒, and 6249916 ⇒) for a “Garment cuff with a thumb opening”. The original inventors ran a business called Handcuffs, Inc. that was purchased by MGI. I was not able to find any other mentions of these sweatshirts having any patent protection anywhere other than the USA.

Cuff ‘Em & Stuff ‘Em

Handcuffs are normally associated as a tool that police departments utilize to restrain the movement of suspects. When worn too tightly for extended periods of time, and especially when someone is cuffed with their arms behind their back with their palms facing outwards, handcuffs can cause a form of pain in the wrists that is known as handcuff neuropathy. Another oddity about handcuffs is that a good majority of them used outside of large metropolitan forces are opened by a universal key.

I have never been handcuffed by the police. Conducting my life within the limits of the law make this easy to accomplish.